The Mental Wanderings of a Freak

New Blog

2006-03-15T22:57:00.000-08:00

http://blog.higherthings.org/nurseheidi

Rolling Stone...

2006-02-26T23:38:00.000-08:00

How does it feel
To be on your own
No direction home
Like a rolling stooooone?

So, I have two, well, technically three weeks left of my first nursing class. I'm pretty psyched about that. It feels like I accomplished a lot, even though I have a ton of stuff to get done in the next three weeks.
And I've kind of decided that I want to at least try to get into med school. I'm not sure if it'll happen or what will happen in the next two or three years, but I think I'm going to try. I think I'll regret it if I don't. I do love medicine, and I think this is what I want to do. A lot of things may change, but for now, that's what I'm thinking. But I'm not giving up on nursing.
So, the thrilling stuff in my life-I got some of my competencies done, my care plan competency (the thing that everyone's freaking out about) is due tomorrow, and I just did it tonight. Well, I just fixed it up tonight. I feel like I should be more worried...
I also have another nursing test on Tuesday but I'm really not worried about this one. It was pretty easy material, well, at least some of it was. Plus, there's no essay...
Other than school, not much has been up, really. I've been doing tutoring and I'm really proud of one of my tutorees because she did so well on her tests, I've been thinking about future school plans and dreaming about going to Baltimore, followed by spring break. Just about a month and a half away!! :-D
I know I've had boring blog posts lately, but I really can't think of anything except school to talk about. Oh! I went to a forensics tournament, just to watch people. It was so much more relaxing watching people ;) And they're getting really, really good. I almost wish I could do it, but then I think of the time it would take :-p. It was fun to see everyone again and meet the new people (my replacees ;)) and Samantha and Sabrina have this AMAZING duo that I loved.
Other than that, I've been watching House again. It was so COOL when they talked about IgG and MRSA and VRSA and I knew exactly what they were talking about. I love medical shows. I know they're unrealistic, but I love watching them and figuring stuff out and figuring out when they made a mistake on something :-p There's one episode of House where the entire premise of the disease is screwed up, and I caught a mistake in ER once about flexion/extension. Wow, yes, I am a freak. And no one will watch medical shows with me ;)
I love nighttime. I feel so AWAKE at night. Which is AWFUL since I have to get up at 5 or 6 every morning. So I've kinda had a major lack of sleep lately. But I make up for it by crashing on Fridays. I love Fridays. I do NOTHING on Fridays and I LOVE it. Doing nothing rocks.
And this is ONE brilliant post ;)
Oh, I was tutoring Anatomy on Friday and I discovered that amazingly I DO remember Anatomy. I remember more than I thought I did, so that was pretty cool. I don't remember exact muscles or any of that stuff. Well, I remember a few, but not the tiny ones with names that all sound the same. But overall, my memory isn't so bad. My anatomy professor would be pleased ;)
I'm trying to think of an actual meaningful point to end this post with. Something that at least has some point. I can't think of much, except, something I discovered in clinical. Working with kids has made it a lot easier to work with patients, especially elderly patients. I didn't think I could handle some of it, but it turns out that I don't have a problem with it. I enjoy patient care, even if it's things that most people would view as gross. And I actually like working with older people, whether they're mentally "there" or not. Even if they have lost some of their memory, so many of them still have long term memories about their lives, and their lives are interesting. IT's interesting to talk to people who've actually done so much already. And in a way, it makes you realize that all people are really quite a bit alike, whether they're 2 years old, 20 years old, are 100 years old. And, in a way, they can all be treated the same, with respect, with attentiveness, with caring. Nursing is all about realizing that it's people you're dealing with every day. People who have more needs than just to get rid of this illness and kick them out the door. Sometimes, they just need someone to listen to them AND treat them. And when you can be that person, who takes time out of their schedule to just listen to what the person is worried about, or listen to them talk about their life or their grandchildren, that's the most rewarding experience you can have. It may even be as rewarding as saving a life.

Stealing from Rachel

2006-02-17T12:27:00.000-08:00

You scored as Chemistry. You should be a Chemistry major! As if that isnt clear enough, you are deeply passionate about Chemistry, and every single chemical reaction and concept fascinates you. Pursue that!

Chemistry

100%

Mathematics

100%

Biology

92%

Engineering

92%

Sociology

92%

Psychology

92%

Theater

75%

English

67%

Anthropology

67%

Art

67%

Philosophy

58%

Journalism

58%

Dance

25%

Linguistics

17%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

I find it funny that I'm apparently also 100% a math major. Just so you know, I don't exactly LIKE math ;) I also think it's funny that I'm almost a Sociology major :-p Because the one Sociology class I took, I despised. See, I think the POINT of Sociology IS fascinating, cultural interactions and all of that. But actual sociology just isn't half as interesting as it's cracked up to be...
But Chem, Bio, Psych and even Engineering, yup, sounds fun ;) And that is why I'll be in school for the rest of my life :-D
And while I'm blogging... Gram stains annoy me. Actually, I did them almost perfectly three times last week, but we had a quiz on them this week and I could NOT get one to work. Part of it was due to whoever uses my Microscope the day before, because it was REALLY in bad shape. And someone stole one of my slides... but, anyway, I now have to re-do the quiz next week. Which isn't so bad, I mean, I can keep redoing it until I get it right. But I hate feeling stupid :-p.

2006-02-15T17:18:00.000-08:00

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Hididi

Hey Mr. Tambourine Man...

2006-02-11T23:14:00.000-08:00

And my title has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
Well, my first week of clinicals came and went. Some of the other clinical groups haven't even started yet, but shadowed a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) and a RN the next day (RN=Registered Nurse, what I'm going to be in two years...if I study and don't fail my test on Tuesday :-p) At first, I was a bit annoyed that some of the other groups got to do the shadowing. It seemed like it would help them. But now, I'm glad that we started already. I feel like we're ahead now, and we have one care plan already completed. That's a good start. And the clinicals, well, it reminded me that I definitely want to be a nurse. I didn't do everything perfectly, especially not on the first day, but it still went so well. The paperwork the night before clinicals was exhausting, but after that, the care plan didn't take that long. It was...great. Lectures haven't been so thrilling and it made me wonder if I was sure I wanted to be a nurse, especially with all the talk of "This is what you need a physician's order for." But then, I actually started DOING nursing things, even if they were minor ones, and yes, I DEFINITELY want to be a nurse. Oh, and I even got my name up on the patient's board where there's the space that says "Nurse" ;) Is it weird that I was so thrilled about that?
I also got to see a MRI. Wow, that was amazing. I helped to transport a patient over to the MRI room and then into the machine, and the tech showed us all these abnormal scans. It was FASCINATING and brought back a lot from Anatomy class.
I also have the best clinical group...I don't know, I just get along with pretty much everyone and we work pretty well together.
I should be going to bed...doing some tutoring tomorrow, and I still have studying to get done tomorrow, too. The Nutrition chapter's gonna kill me :-p Especially since that wasn't one of the best lectures, either... *crosses fingers for the test*
Oh, and I'm going, for sure, to Baltimore the week before spring break. There's a nursing student convention there...the professors waive our clinical time, which is pretty cool. And the school pays for everything except the flight...it'll be nice to get away and see the Eas Coast. And then, when I get back, I'll have a whole week off. I'd say to relax, but there will probably be loads of homework to work on, plus it's Holy Week.
I feel a biit behind with clinical competencies. But I'm not actually because no one else in my group has gotten them done, and I don't THINK any of the other groups have. I know that at least two of the other groups haven't. I guess I'll start on those next week...need to brush up on a few things, like remembering what exactly the normal limits for BP are... And then...well, nursing test on Tuesday, Micro next the week after, and then another nursing test. Don't have a Pharm test till March, fortunately.
Ack, lots of babbling. Methinks I'll go to bed now...
Read blog.higherthings.org/fischer for the happy news of the weeeek.

It's me...I'm alive!

2006-01-27T23:56:00.000-08:00

I've pretty much been...getting rid of non-nursing school commitments. It's not really like me to do that. Usually I want to load myself up. But now, well, nursing school is pretty intense and I've been realizing that that's what I really need to focus on. Even Microbiology is a bit much, but that has to get done. Plus, I enjoy it.
It's amazing how 14 units of mostly nursing classes is so so so much more work than 20 units of science and humanities. I think part of it is that I realize that this stuff needs to stick in my brain, and we have tons of tests, and a LOT of reading to do, and the hands-on things really take a lot of practice. Plus, I keep remembering that starting next Wednesday we'll be doing them on actual patients. That pretty much makes me want to drop all my other commitments. Not that I had that many, except the speech team, tutoring (for the school), and volunteering at the children's hospital. I'm still in choir, but can't make it to choir practice...and I may keep up with voice lessons, but I'm not sure yet.
So, I really like nursing school. It's a lot of work, and a lot to remember, and I'm a bit unsure about the paperwork but I should know more about that when clinicals come. And it's weird, because we're learning how to do physical assesments but we won't get tested on them until the next half of the semester...and then the next semester after that we kind of get tested on it again. It's weird...oh, and we have tests every two weeks, too. So, Tuesday is my first test... well, minus the math test in Pharm (passing = 85% on that...but it's basic math :-p and you have three tries to do it, but if you fail the third one, you're out of the program...)
Micro's fun...it's hard having lab on Thursdays now, because it makes for a 14 hour day. But, once I get going in lab, I wake up. Actually, I woke up about 20 minutes before lab was over yesterday :-p I was just getting into it, and wanted to stay, because I found something (euglena) and was drawing it and wanted to find more things...really fun lab, and lecture's not bad either. And I did well on the quizzes so far... (big relief, because I thought he was going to mark me off on the first quiz and he didn't... it had me all stressed out about the whole class...anytime I forsee something less than an A, I freak ;))
Wow, lots of babbling about school. I haven't done much outside of school... nothing outside of school, actually... kind of sad, I guess, but, hey, most of us in nursing school are the same way...
It's nice to finally be...DOING what I want to do. But, scary, too. At least, the thought of clinicals are...doesn't help that I don't get pediatric patients till my last semester...I'm not planning on ever working on adults, partially because I don't think I'd be as good at it, and so, having to start off on adults is partially terrifying :-p. Weird, I know...
To end this rambling, here are some Bob Dylan lyrics again:

William Zanzinger killed poor Hattie Carroll
With a cane that he twirled around his diamond ring finger
At a Baltimore hotel society gath'rin'.
And the cops were called in and his weapon took from him
As they rode him in custody down to the station
And booked William Zanzinger for first-degree murder.
But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears,
Take the rag away from your face.
Now ain't the time for your tears.

William Zanzinger, who at twenty-four years
Owns a tobacco farm of six hundred acres
With rich wealthy parents who provide and protect him
And high office relations in the politics of Maryland,
Reacted to his deed with a shrug of his shoulders
And swear words and sneering, and his tongue it was snarling,
In a matter of minutes on bail was out walking.
But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears,
Take the rag away from your face.
Now ain't the time for your tears.

Hattie Carroll was a maid of the kitchen.
She was fifty-one years old and gave birth to ten children
Who carried the dishes and took out the garbage
And never sat once at the head of the table
And didn't even talk to the people at the table
Who just cleaned up all the food from the table
And emptied the ashtrays on a whole other level,
Got killed by a blow, lay slain by a cane
That sailed through the air and came down through the room,
Doomed and determined to destroy all the gentle.
And she never done nothing to William Zanzinger.
But you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears,
Take the rag away from your face.
Now ain't the time for your tears.

In the courtroom of honor, the judge pounded his gavel
To show that all's equal and that the courts are on the level
And that the strings in the books ain't pulled and persuaded
And that even the nobles get properly handled
Once that the cops have chased after and caught 'em
And that the ladder of law has no top and no bottom,
Stared at the person who killed for no reason
Who just happened to be feelin' that way without warnin'.
And he spoke through his cloak, most deep and distinguished,
And handed out strongly, for penalty and repentance,
William Zanzinger with a six-month sentence.
Oh, but you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears,
Bury the rag deep in your face
For now's the time for your tears.

Nursing school...with Micro!

2006-01-19T21:42:00.000-08:00

I was at school yesterday for 14 and 1/2 hours. Yuup, such is my life now.
So nursing school is pretty intense, but I'm enjoying it. Clinicals start in two weeks so we'll see how that goes. Microbiology also seems really interesting so far, so I'm enjoying it...
Outside of nursing people who I spend immense amounts of time with (but they're cool, so I'm fine with it ;)) I haven't been able to see any other friends at school yet...HOPEFULLY I'll catch up with some of them soon. I might go watch a forensics tournament in a few weeks which will be cool.
Okaay, I really should actually study now...why is it so much easier to do at school? I just know I'll have three chapters still to read on Sunday :-p

Bob Dylan lyrics

2006-01-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

Oh my name it is nothin'
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
I's taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And that land that I live in
Has God on its side.

Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side.

Oh the Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns in their hands
And God on their side.

Oh the First World War, boys
It closed out its fate
The reason for fighting
I never got straight
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead
When God's on your side.

When the Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now too
Have God on their side.

I've learned to hate Russians
All through my whole life
If another war starts
It's them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side.

But now we got weapons
Of the chemical dust
If fire them we're forced to
Then fire them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God's on your side.

In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.

So now as I'm leavin'
I'm weary as Hell
The confusion I'm feelin'
Ain't no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
If God's on our side
He'll stop the next war.

Of books and broken chairs

2006-01-02T05:30:00.000-08:00

Yes, it is 5:30 AM Pacific Time. Yes, it is winter break. Yes, I should be asleep for the next...ten hours? I made the brilliant mistake of falling asleep after dinner and waking up at the joyous time of 3:30. I don't feel like reading or watching a DVD, and no one's up yet so I can't play DDR, so...blogging it is.
I've been reading a lot lately. It's nice to get back to it. I used to be one of those kids who went to the library at least once a week and checked out a stack of books almost bigger than I was. And I'd read them all, too. But the past year or so I just have so much reading that I HAVE to do for school, that when I get home from school I just want to do something that doesn't stimulate my brain, but in fact, rots it. You need a good brain-rotting once in a while, and TV is good for that.
But, I'm sufficiently relaxed now, and even though I have reading to do for nursing school, I've been putting THAT off. I'm not sure why, the first week off I was ready to have it all read in a day. Now...when I read it makes me think of all the stuff I have to get ready for nursing school and puts me in a panic. So, I put it off. Procrastination is always a good thing.
So, I've had time to clean my room (...at least partly. It WILL get finished this week and I should have a nice cozy study corner with my LOAD of medical/nursing/A&P books...you would not BELIEVE how many I have. It's seriously scary. I think I'm obsessed.) and READ. I read Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and the sequel to that in two days. Those were...fun. That's the best word for those books. They're just good, fun, reading. I love the characters, I love the stories, and of COURSE I love the pants ;). Tibby's my favorite character...she's just...fun? Carmen kind of bugs me, though. She's very...brattish. Anyway, everyone should read those books.
Aaand, I got for Christmas Bob Dylan's Chronicles Vol. 1. Wow...it's an amazing book. I generally don't like books about music all that much. It seems so...pretentious to write about music, when it's listening to the music itself that matters. But this book is more of an autobiography. It jumps around a lot, chronologically and spacially. And it kind of...meanders. Bob Dylan goes on about the books he's read and historic characters, along with the people that he actually met and his actual experiences. It feels that you actually get a glimpse into who Bob Dylan is. The writing style is...unique, I guess. And I think the best part about it is its utter lack of pretentiousness. It's very down to earth, but poetic at the same time. Kind of like his music. So, everyone should read that book, even if you don't like Bob Dylan. But...if you don't like Bob Dylan, I'm sorry, but something's wrong with you ;).
On an utterly different subject...Dance Dance Revolution is FUN. Once I start playing I have to keep playing for at least two hours, which would be scary, if I weren't getting a workout at the same time, which seems to make it much better. I'm surprisingly okay at it, but much better if people aren't around watching me...
Aaand, on yet another note... I got an iTunes gift card and so was trying to figure out what music to get, and I discovered Rilo Kiley. If you like soft Indie (which is what I'm into lately) then you should definitely check them out. It's really good music. It doesn't have all that much in common with The Decemberists or Neutral Milk Hotel, two of my favorite Indie groups. They're more like Aimee Mann. Kind of. A little less folksy than she is, though.
And that, folks, is all my random thoughts for this (early) morning. Have a good 2nd of January!

Another year, another color of hair...

2005-12-31T21:42:00.000-08:00

It's burgundy now ;) Really not all that different but it's got this purplish pinkish glimmer that I like...we'll see how long it lasts...
So, it's a New Year. Or will be soon, in this part of the country. Does that mean it's time to reflect on 2005? Well, since I have nothing better to do, yes, it does.
2005 wasn't the greatest year ever for me...it was one of those "I made it through!" years. School was school, although I discovered that I love Physiology, and that speeches can be fun. I made some new friends at school, mostly in forensics and SI, and that was pretty cool. I hope that I'll actually keep in touch with some of them. As far as non-school goes, well, I went to Indiana, which was...amazing, saw one of my friends (coincidentally also my boyfriend's sister ;)) get married, which was...beautiful, a little sad in a good way, and definitely the best wedding I have ever been to. And there was DtbL, which was amazing, as was seeing friends again...
And as the year ends, I'm working on getting things ready for nursing school-the next biggest, and scariest step in my life. Nat and I are still together and despite the 2000 miles, I think we're going to be okay. I miss my friends from school, who I never seem to do things with once the semester's over, and I really miss my...non-Californian friends, especially Katie, Anna, Rachael and Rachel... (and the rest of y'all, but I can't name EVERYONE, can I? ;)) But, The Feast is relatively soon, I'll see everyone then. I love y'all...I wish I could celebrate New Years with everyone, and I hope everyone has a wonderful 2006!

Wow...

2005-12-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

...I got into nursing school...so, apparently the alternate status wasn't a guaranteed no. I'm in... :-D and a bit panicky about all the stuff I have to get done before next semester starts. I still can't believe that... in just a few weeks, I'm going to be a student nurse. Awesome, ne? ;)
I'm really sad that none of my friends got in this semester, though... I vaguely know two people that are in, but they're not close friends-I just remember seeing them around in Anatomy and Physiology. And I was going to be taking Bio and Chem with Sam, too *sighs* Buuut, I'll still be on campus so it isn't as if I won't see anyone :-p And I'm sure I'll make some new friends in nursing school, although I do like my old ones ;)

I got tagged!

2005-12-17T20:47:00.000-08:00

Aww, I feel so loved ;)

So, five random facts about me that most people don't know...
Wow, I can't seem to think of any, guess I'll have to try harder.

1. Despite getting good grades and taking tons of classes, I'm actually pretty lazy and haven't spent that much time studying so far.
2. I feel nervous singing in front of people, but not talking in front of people. Weird, isn't it?
3. I want to dye my hair blue, and get a (small) tattoo, eventually.
4. I used to play the recorder...and I've been "playing" piano for a long time and finally took a class in it this semester. My rhythm's awful.
5. I have a three year subscription the the American Journal of Nursing, despite not being a nurse yet.

Freedom!

2005-12-17T00:13:00.000-08:00

So, my last final was on Thursday. I'm officially free from school-until next semester. The break always feels weird. I feel more like myself when I'm in school and when I'm out of school I don't know what to do with myself. I even cleaned up my room because I needed to DO something. Well, worked on cleaning it...;)
Today was fun...I went to the forensics holiday party and it was pretty fun. I never really expected to make such good friends in forensics, outside of the friends I already had who were in it... it's funny how, all of my closest friends I never really expected to...find where I did find them. Ah, writing a blog post at midnight isn't the brightest idea, is it? Words don't want to come out :-p
I have the nursing orientation next week...it's strange...I have to go and I have to get a physical and do all this stuff for nursing, but chances are I won't be starting next semester. And if I DID find out I was, well, it'd be weird, because I've pretty much taken the "alternate" status as meaning I didn't get in. So, I've planned out everything I'd otherwise do. Not getting into nursing school has turned out to be a good thing...it's made me realize that believe it or not, not all doctors are evil and I might possibly even want to be one. That being said, I still want to do nursing first. The problem is that there are pros and cons to both nursing and medicine, and I...well, if I were to just stay here, I'd probably want to be a nurse. But I really want to practice medicine in other countries, especially countries in Africa and I think I could do more there as a doctor. But, whatever I decide to do eventually, not getting into nursing school made me at least think about my other options. I think it'd be funny if I ended up going to med school, because it'd be partially because I couldn't get into nursing school. How's that for reversing stereotypes? ;)
Anyway, next semester's going to be intense, but weirdly enough, I'm looking forward to it. I'm tired of being bored by classes...and it's not that I'm that smart. Classes are just...so dumbed down. And finally I get to take a REAL chem class, instead of the two useless ones I've taken so far. Chem is fun...bio is fun...maybe even math will turn out to be at least bearable ;).
Eek, I wasn't going to talk about school. See what I mean? I can't seem to STOP thinking about school.
Sooo, besides schoool... I'm looking forward to more free time...and I actually get to go to CHOC tomorrow (yaaay, haven't done that in a while) and hoping to talk to more people online. I never seem to do anything with school people outside of school related stuff, though. Well, I occassssiionally do, but very occassionally :-p.
So, before I babble on more about school:

1. What time did you get up this morning? I think around 9. It was niice.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds...well, if I hadn't heard the speech about how diamonds come from mines that basically have child slave labor. Which is...awful...but the one thing about that speech that BUGGED me is that she SAID that the kids do it because they have to support their families...but if we stop buying diamonds, then the kids will lose the jobs they DO have...awful jobs, yes, but at least SOMETHING, right? There is no simple solution to anything....

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Cinema's a British term. And that would be "Walk the Line." INCREDIBLE movie. Everyone should go see it...it was...highly dramatic and very moving, and Joaquim Phoenix actually makes a very good Johnny Cash- and can sing! And what's more surprising is that Reese Witherspoon can sing...

4. What is your favorite TV show? House (Yay for Sam, who agrees with me ;)) Medicine, an awesome awesome doctor character, and the coool close ups of organs. Although I caught a mistake in House once...

5. What did you have for breakfast? I generally don't eat breakfast. Yes, bad habit, I know.

6. What is your middle name? Anna

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Eeeeverything. California is the land of awesome ethnic food.

8. What foods do you dislike? meat? ;)

9. What are your favorite Potato chips? Hmm...good question. I actually like Sun Chips best but I'm not sure if they're potato chips.

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Well, I've been listening to Big and Rich's new one a lot, and random Beatles'/Pink Floyd/Bob Dylan music.

11. What kind of car do you drive? No car.

12. Favorite sandwich? Grilled cheese. I LIVED off of those last semester.

13. What characteristics do you despise? Also have to go with Sam on this one...stupidity...stupid people have been bugging me more often lately. It's amazing how people can be in their own little world of...yes, stupidity.

14. Favorite item of clothing? The one type of jeans that actually fit well.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, Where would you go? Ireland/Italy.

16. What color is your bathroom? Uh, random question. Pink-ish.

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Liking a certain brand of clothes is stupid. Half of the time, they're all the same anyway. Why pay more for something that is exactly the same as something cheaper, cost just as much to make, but has some impressive name? Oh, American popular culture is brilliant...

18. Where would you retire to? ...haven't quite thought about that one yet.

19. Favorite time of day? Night.

20. Where were you born? Califooornia.

21. Favorite sport? I'm not a sport-y person. I tend to make fun of sports and I only like them if Anaheim teams play. Or UCLA. But I don't watch UCLA games, they make me sad...

22. What fabric detergent do you use? Whatever.

23. Coke or Pepsi? Probably Pepsi.

24. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night owl, definitely. Unless I've been running off of adrenaline and caffeine for the past two weeks, as I have, and then I'm a...sleep all day AND all night person.

25. What is your shoe size? 11...yes, giant. Believe me, I know.

26. Any pets? A dog that's...everyone's, two cats that are mine, and a fish who isn't doing so well and is mine.

27. Any exciting news you'd like to share with your family and friends? ...if I did, would I write it on a quiz on my blog? :-p I think not.

28. What did you want to be when you were little? A vet. It only mildly changed to a nurse/maybe-doctor-but-I-can't-tell-anyone-because-I-don't-like-doctors-or-people-who-nag-at-me-to-be-a-doctor.

Since I have time...

2005-12-06T18:06:00.000-08:00

Wow...the semester's going to be over soon. Finals week is next week already! This week is busy...Monday I had a Chem lecture test, today I had a speech and paper due, tomorrow I have my Chem lab test, and Thursday I get to do my presentation on the Dead Kennedys (rock on ;))
Anyway, all the news I'd been desperately waiting for has arrived...
I didn't get into nursing school. Well, I'm an alternate, which means that if anyone decides not to go, I might get to go. It's kind of annoying since I have to go to the orientation in the realization that I'm not actually going to be starting next semester. But, oh well. I was really upset at first, but I'm okay now. I get to take Biology, Chemistry, Microbiology, Film, Forensics, and probably English 103 next semester. So, I'm happy. I'm going to have tons of units- in fact, I need to go to a counseler so that I CAN register for everything :-p. But, the good news is I get to keep Forensics...
Speaking of that, the tournament last weekend was so much fun! I didn't do so great on most of my events, but I got to finals in Cultural Artifact. So, I feel pretty good about it. I also found out that apparently I talk too quietly when doing speeches...which struck me as funny :-p
Soo...my finals are done next Thursday, which rocks. What I'm most worried about is actually my lab test, mostly because of my inability to use the stupid Bunsen burner lighters. Well, sometimes I can use them, but some of them are ANCIENT...so, we'll see how it goes.
We have our highschool tournament this weekend...although I can't be here to help set up on Thursday. Well, I could...but I'd have to skip choir. It's not the greatest because if I skip choir I'm in trouble, if I skip helping to set up, I'm in trouble. And I won't be around some of Friday... I don't like being in trouble :-p We'll see how it goes...
This semester went by fast...and it was a pretty cool semester. Classes weren't amazing and some of them frustrated me sooo much, but I met a lot of cool people this semester. So that makes up for the utter boringness of most of my classes...

Update on mee...

2005-11-27T16:47:00.000-08:00

So, my life...
I find out in approximately a week whether I got into nursing school. Currently, it's driving me INSANE. I just want to know, and then be prepared for next semester-either nursing school (which would be amazingly great) or awesome science classes.
As for school...well, the 20 units are finally getting to me and I managed to lose my English textbook and my forensics black book. I need to get a replacement black book soooon, and I do have a replacement textbook but it's on loan and so I presume I can't write in it and that's going to make my in-class essay sliiightly more difficult. Anyway, I'll survive but I was annoyed over losing them in the first place...and then the guy in charge of security lost and found was gone all week...
Other than that, classes are going okay. I have to make up a chemistry lab, which will be...interesting, but other than that...just a few last things left. Like an exam in Chem class the week before the final. Wonderful scheduling, isn't it?
But, just two weeks left of actual classes. It's hard to pay attention in classes lately, so that's a plus. And we have a highschool forensics tournament that I'm helping out at, and that should be fun...
So, basically, school's driving me nuts :-p. I hate the last few weeks because there's so much to do and it's so stressful, and my chemistry class is driving me INSANE at the moment. But, it'll all be over soon. Frankly, I can't WAIT for the over-ness.

Mvoies

2005-11-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

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IMDB's Top 100 Best Movies of All Time
generate this HTML for your own page at ObeytheFist.com

Rank	Movie	Didn't See It/ Started It/ Finished It/ Hated It!
1	Godfather, The (1972)	Finished It
2	Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)	Finished It
3	Godfather: Part II, The (1974)	Finished It
4	Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)	Finished It
5	Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)	Finished It
6	Casablanca (1942)	Finished It
7	Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)	Finished It
8	Schindler's List (1993)	Started It
9	Shichinin No Samurai [Seven Samurai] (1954)	Started It
10	Star Wars (1977)	Finished It
11	Citizen Kane (1941)	Finished It
12	One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)	Finished It
13	Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)	Finished It
14	Rear Window (1954)	Finished It
15	Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)	Finished It
16	Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)	Finished It
17	Memento (2000)	Finished It
18	Usual Suspects, The (1995)	Finished It
19	Pulp Fiction (1994)	Finished It
20	North by Northwest (1959)
21	12 Angry Men (1957)
22	Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le [Amelie] (2001)	Finished It
23	Psycho (1960)	Finished It
24	Lawrence of Arabia (1962)	Finished It
25	Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il [The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly] (1966)
26	Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
27	It's a Wonderful Life (1946)	Finished It
28	Goodfellas (1990)
29	American Beauty (1999)	Finished It
30	Vertigo (1958)	Finished It
31	Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32	Matrix, The (1999)	Finished It
33	Apocalypse Now (1979)
34	Pianist, The (2002)	Finished It
35	To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36	C'era una volta il West [Once Upon a Time in the West] (1968)
37	Some Like It Hot (1959)
38	Third Man, The (1949)
39	Taxi Driver (1976)
40	Paths of Glory (1957)
41	Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi [Spirited Away] (2001)	Finished It
42	Fight Club (1999)	Finished It
43	Boot, Das (1981)	Started It
44	Double Indemnity (1944)
45	L.A. Confidential (1997)	Finished It
46	Chinatown (1974)
47	Singin' in the Rain (1952)	Finished It
48	Maltese Falcon, The (1941)	Finished It
49	M (1931)	Finished It
50	Requiem for a Dream (2000)	Finished It
51	Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
52	All About Eve (1950)
53	Se7en (1995)	Finished It
54	Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)	Finished It
55	Saving Private Ryan (1998)	Finished It
56	Cidade de Deus [City of God] (2002)
57	Raging Bull (1980)
58	Rashômon (1950)
59	Wizard of Oz, The (1939)	Finished It
60	Sting, The (1973)
61	Alien (1979)
62	American History X (1998)	Finished It
63	Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)	Finished It
64	Léon (1994)
65	Vita è bella, La [Life is Beautiful] (1997)	Finished It
66	Touch of Evil (1958)
67	Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
68	2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)	Finished It
69	Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
70	Great Escape, The (1963)	Finished It
71	Wo hu cang long [Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon] (2000)	Finished It
72	Reservoir Dogs (1992)	Finished It
73	Clockwork Orange, A (1971)	Started It
74	Amadeus (1984)	Finished It
75	Modern Times (1936)	Finished It
76	Ran (1985)
77	Annie Hall (1977)	Finished It
78	Jaws (1975)
79	On the Waterfront (1954)
80	Braveheart (1995)	Finished It
81	High Noon (1952)
82	Apartment, The (1960)
83	Fargo (1996)	Finished It
84	Sixth Sense, The (1999)	Finished It
85	Aliens (1986)
86	Shining, The (1980)	Finished It
87	Strangers on a Train (1951)
88	Blade Runner (1982)	Finished It
89	Metropolis (1927)	Started It
90	Duck Soup (1933)	Started It
91	Finding Nemo (2003)	Finished It
92	Donnie Darko (2001)	Finished It
93	General, The (1927)
94	City Lights (1931)
95	Princess Bride, The (1987)	Finished It
96	Toy Story 2 (1999)	Finished It
97	Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)	Finished It
98	Great Dictator, The (1940)	Started It
99	Sjunde inseglet, Det [The Seventh Seal] (1957)
100	Lola rennt [Run Lola Run] (1998)	Finished It

Which movies have you seen?

Big and Rich...and other topics of awesomeness

2005-10-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

LA's got the freaks and geeks and 15 dollar drinks...

I got to see Big and Rich in concert last week! And, not only Big and Rich, but also Brooks and Dunn, Deana Carter, HannaMcEuen, The Warren Brothers and Bobby Pinsen.
Big and Rich are absolutely amazing live. I've never had so much fun at a concert. And Brooks and Dunn, well, their voices are 10x better live than recorded. That says it all. As for Deana Carter, I really like her new music... and HannaMcEuen are new, but absolutely amazing! Go buy their CD, along with Big and Rich's new one coming out in November.
So, that was my fun event. My not so fun event was the stressfulness of having my first graded speech today. I haven't stressed out so much over that speech...but it ended up turning out great! It made my day...
Now...
You've been wondering if I'll have one....
My rant of the day!
I was talking to someone from one of my classes yesterday. Now, note that while this person is not a friend, necessarily, I've gotten to know her fairly well over this semester, and I've really enjoyed talking with her. She asked me what my major was, and when I said nursing, she responded with: "WHAT?! You could do so much better than that!" (...I'm geting the highest grade in said class for...background :-p It's an easy class, though...) She tried to save herself a bit by saying, "I mean, not that nursing isn't good..." but then went on to make it worse by saying "Do you really want to clean bed pans for the rest of your life?" For those of you who don't know, generally nurses don't clean bed pans-nursing assistants do. Even if nurses DID do that, I wouldn't mind. I'll have to do it in nursing school. But, nurses administer meds, monitor the patients, assess the patients, and are basically the ones with the patients. I utterly respect doctors and I have thought of becoming a doctor, since medicine is fascinating, but doctors just don't have the patient contact that nurses do.
...Anyway, I find it interesting that everyone thinks it is their duty to make me become a doctor. See, before, I've considered it, but every time someone tells me to become a doctor, I get more stubborn about it. *shakes head at people*
Anyway, I've been busy, and not entirely liking it. I'm looking forward to vacation. My classes aren't too thrilling this semester...and I miss having a lot of time to talk to friends...

Joining the bandwagon...

2005-10-19T00:44:00.000-07:00

Look up "your name needs" on google. (With your actual name inserted :-p). It took me a while to actually DO this...I think Rachael, Rachel, and Bethany, if not others did it first.
"Heidi needs to know that every man she meets is drooling over her." ()
"Heidi needs some stuff submitted."
"Heidi needs clothing." (:-o)
"Heidi needs her own site."
"Heidi needs love"
"Heidi needs someone to warm her up a bit."
"Heidi needs a happy birthday."
"Heidi needs a home."
"Heidi needs to pay $5 so that all the answers to this question can be shown."
"Heidi needs our support."
And just for fun:
"Heidi needs to understand that the majority of the folks in that state do NOT agree with her."
"Heidi needs to go to school."

...

2005-10-14T20:43:00.000-07:00

I enjoy stealing things from other people's blogs ;).

Ten years ago: I was six, almost seven, homeschooled, and a reading freak. The librarians knew me extreeemely well. I think that was during my Dear America phase...I have 53 Dear America books left over from that phase.

Five years ago: I was...11. I think I started acting around that age, at the library. Yes, at the library. They had this little acting group at the library (we did children's stories). It was one of the most fun things I did, especially at that age. Besides that, hmm, I think I was still at my old church, I know I was still homeschooled, and was still increeedibly into books, and then, acting.

One year ago: A year ago I graduated highschool, started community college, discovered that I absolutely love science, started seriously thinking about nursing, made some good friends at school, went to City of God and JUNE and...got my boyfriend. ;)

Five treats I enjoy:
--Going to San Luis Obispo and walking around the ocean...
--Just having some time to stay at home, read a book, watch a movie, be by myself for a bit.
--My annual trips to the Midwest, where I get to hang out with my best friends.
--HT conferences, of course.
--Being able to take breaks from classes to talk for even a few minutes to friends at school.

Five songs I know the text to:
--16 Military Wives- The Decemberists
--100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall ;)
--A Mighty Fortress (gotta get a hymn in there)
--21st Century Digital Boy-Bad Religion
--Mad World-Gary Jules

Five things I would do with 100 million dollars:
--Give to...LCMS World Relief, the Red Cross, etc.
--Move away on campus at a really good university (that'll happen soon enough, though, I hope)
--Spend one night at an extremely fancy hotel and eat at an extremely fancy restaraunt, and then go to Ireland and Italy (yeah, all at once ;))
--Visit all the MHers I know
--Get a private jet, of course :-D

Five places I'd like to run away to:
--Some place...artsy. San Francisco, Seattle.
--Indiana
--Wisconsin
--Ireland
--The beach somewhere...

Five things I would never wear:
--an entirely pink outfit
--Anything extremely short
--...a bow.
--Shirts that say things like "My boyfriend's on vacation." Do people actually WEAR those?
--...I'm at a loss here.

Five favorite movies:
--Garden State
--Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
--Citizen Kane
--Momento
--Casablanca

Five greatest joys:
--Knowing that I'm saved in the death and resurrection of Christ.
--My family around me...yeah, I'm kind of over that rebellious stage ;)
--My friends at school, my friends across the country (Love you guys!)
--Yeah, yeah, tease me but I'd be in trouble if I didn't say it ;): My boyfriend.
--...science. YES, it's weird, but Physiology makes me happy...

Five favorite toys:
--My computer/internet
--...do books count as toys? ;)
--...the stethoscope I will one day have.
--My six foot anatomical man pop-up poster
--Hmmm...

Politics

2005-10-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

I took the political quiz...and I expected to get libertarian. After all, EVERY political test I've taken, although it's been a while since I've taken one has said Libertarian. I consider myself a....liberal libertarian (minus the abortion issue) and so I was really surprised when I got my results:
You are a

Social Liberal
(90% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(33% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Strong Democrat

You exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness.

I don't know about the economic fairness bit. Sure, I wish that financially we were all equal but that's impossible, due to human greed. Maybe my answers on enviormental issues led to the result...
90% Permissive Socially... I consider that a good thing ;) That doesn't mean that I think everything is RIGHT, that's for sure, but government isn't here to impose morals... in my opinion.

2005-09-30T22:31:00.000-07:00

I watched Joy Luck Club today. That movie's been out for a while, and I've actually rented it once before, but I never got around to seeing it. About a week ago, I saw The Breakfast Club. Completely different movies, but both clubs ;). Yes, brilliant observation.
The Joy Luck Club was pretty good. It really is more about the story than anything else, and the story is excellent. After all, it's from an Amy Tan book. I need to read more of her books...she's a great author. Her story was one of the few that I remember reading from last semester ("Fish Head," and I believe that's actually from Joy Luck Club, but maybe not). I read so many stories, but not many stuck with me like hers do. As far as the movie goes, well, the acting was alright. I was pretty impressed by the older characters, but the younger ones...well, it varied. I didn't think Ming Na was that great in it... but that's just my opinion. I liked how it interweaved the stories... I haven't read the complete book, so I'm not sure how different it was from the book. But, it really flowed well. Like I said, though, the thing about Joy Luck Club is the story. It could have awful directing and acting, but it's still such a good story that it'd be hard not to like it.
The Breakfast Club was also good. I didn't expect to like it as much as I did. Ok, it was probably much more shallow than Joy Luck Club, but it was just good. I'm not even sure why I liked it so much, but it just seemed different from most movies I've seen, and much less corny than I thought it would be. It wasn't a deep movie, but it wasn't really supposed to be. It was just...fun to watch. And I really loved all the actors in it. It's a movie I would actually consider buying, weirdly enough. And I'm picky about movies I buy. Well, kind of picky... in some ways...
So, that wraps up this post. Not much else to say...except that finding stuff for forensics is HARD. I don't know how I found my poetry piece so easily...

Forensics and stuff

2005-09-24T19:50:00.000-07:00

Yup, I'm alive. Just busy.
I had my first forensics tournament today. It was great! :-D Woah, forensics is fun. And shaved ice is also good... man, dinner tonight was GREAT.
Anyway, the tournament was fun and I won an award! :-D Tied with Sabrina actually (who was greaaat!) What was cool, is that, since we were both Novice Poetry, we were in the same...place and stuff..
Sorry, for the utter lack of coherence, I'm pretty tired. I'll probably be heading to bed before too long...actually, I have homework to get done, though....but that wouldn't be a good idea to do it tonight. Hmmm...
Anyway, that was today. Have a real blog post later.

The life of a teenage college student...

2005-09-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

...woohoo ;)
So, I'm busy. No surprise there...20 units, SI, and voice lessons will do that to you. And choir starts next week, too...
And I have twenty minutes before I should go get the keys for my SI room...
So, I haven't been online much. Actually, I haven't instant messaged anyone since...Sunday, I believe. A year ago that would greatly bother me, but I'm too busy to worry much about it. I do miss my MH peoples, though... and half of them get to go to the same school- total unfairness ;).
But, good news is that classes are going well, SI is going well, and I'm not so busy that I don't have time to hang out with friends at school in between school stuff.
Saturday I'm going up to San Luis Obispo... and bringing study material ;). It'll be a fun trip, but I do have a lot of studying to do over it (two tests, a quiz, and a major essay due next week, and I need to work on my piece for forensics).
Oh, forensics. It's fun!! I haven't done tournaments yet, but I've just been working on my poem. I practiced it yesterday and it went...amazingly well. It was the first time I really let myself get into the character and when I did *shakes head* it was just...so much fun. Undescribably fun.
This isn't my most brilliant post ever ;). But, there isn't too much to actually SAY. Isn't that weird? I have more to talk about when I'm not very busy at all.
Let's see...what else have I done?
Wednesday Sabrina and I cleaned up the forensics squad room. It looks utterly spiffy now ;). Now, I want to get my room to look that nice, but that, like all things, would require time.
Oh, I'm also starting to teach Sunday school to the toddlers. It's fun, but... well, it's hard to get them to sit still for even a few minutes so that I can read them a Bible story ;). But I'll work on it.
I like being busy...

It's another week...

2005-09-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

...therefore I should blog.
The question is: what is there to talk about? I don't have any great philisophical ideas in my head, and if I do, it's about something someone OTHER than me thought up. And nothing really earth shattering has happened in my life lately.
So, I think I'll just write a non-interesting post critquing my classes (Am I allowed to do that? ;) I think I'll...give myself permission. That works.) In other words, whining about the ones I don't like.
They're all easy. Annoyingly easy, actually... I'm in college early, shouldn't I be challenged or something? :-p Ah, the joy of general ed that I need to get done for UCLA...

Physics 130 (aka Conceptual Physics)
Being conceptual, it isn't...real physics, I suppose. The class is bascially just, as the title suggests, the concepts of Physics, with a few equations thrown in so we can pretend it's real Physics. That being said, the concepts are way more interesting than equations (although, I think applied math is actually somewhat fun, so I won't mind it when I get to the calculus based stuff-which I have to do eventually). So, it's a fun class. The concepts are interesting to discuss, not much math to worry about, the professor's cool, I know the SI leader for it (and end up hanging out with him most Mondays and Tuesdays since we have Chem together, too) and it's just kind of a fun class.

Chem 107 (aka Fundamentals of Chemistry)
...I know this stuff already. It's the SAME AS CHEM 101! The only reason I'm taking it is because UCLA needs 107 and not 101. I could pass out of it, but I think they want a grade and I don't want to risk that, so I'm taking the stupid thing. It's utterly boring. I love chemistry...it's one of my favorite sciences, but when I know this stuff already, it's boring. It's made even more boring by having... well, let's just say she's not my favorite professors. She goes on and on and ON about the easiest concepts (even talked for half an hour before lab on how to measure things with a ruler...) but manages to...confuse all the concepts...she also makes lots of mistakes in doing the problems, and she may be a magnificent chemist, but some people were not born to teach.

Speech 101
Easy, easy, easy class. We haven't done any speeches yet...our first speech is on Tuesday and it's just a pass/fail speech. I'm looking forward to doing the speeches, though. For now, we're just talking about communication. It's less boring than I expected, but at the same time, not the most thrilling material, either. Most of it is somewhat obvious stuff, that we just tend to ignore.

Forensics
Forensics is *technically* a class. I also, haven't done any competitions, yet, but I'm looking forward to it. For now, it's trying to come up with ideas for speeches, and it's turning out to be both more work than I thought, and more interesting than I thought. I'm really going to like this, I think.

English 102 (aka Intro to Literature)
I was DREADING this class. You see, normally, I hate writing about literature. I prefer writing about ideas that I feel strongly about, or medicine, or science, something of that kind. But I despised writing about literature. I love to read and I like to discuss it, but I hated writing about it. Then I started taking this class, and I realized just how fascinating it is to analyze literature. And normally, I tend to like objective material- like science. There is a right answer, and there is a wrong answer. There IS one, even though we may not know the answer. I'm tired of social sciences, where anything goes. Whatever you think is ok. But, at the same time, I started taking this class, and I love the subjectivity. It's nice to be able to speculate, and form different opinions that can BOTH be valid. Words don't have to mean just one thing...

Music 119 (aka History of Rock and Roll)
What can I say? I LOVE THIS CLASS! We listen to rock music, or, in the case of last week, the blues (a pre-cursor to rock) and analyze the music, talk about what led to it, discuss where it came from culturally. I knew this class would be fun, but I never actually expected to learn this much from it. The professor's amazing, the class is fascinating, and I'm so incredibly glad that I took this instead of Art History.

Piano
Ok, not a real class class. But, still, fun. I'm taking Intermediate Piano, not begining, now. Definitely a relief to at least be challenged there. I'm really enjoying it, and my sense of rhythm with both Piano and my History of Rock class, is GREATLY improving.

And, SI isn't a class, but I'll talk about it anyway. I LOVE doing SI. I get to sit in my favorite class (Physiology), discuss it with the students this semester, try to get them to think about, try to get them to answer questions about it, and when that "Aha moment!" (I stole that phrase... ;)) hits, it's the greatest thing! And, man, the thank-you's I get for doing it...it's really great. I feel like I'm making a difference...

And, that's about it for school...if you made it this far, congratulations! ;)

2005-09-04T23:38:00.000-07:00

I would comment on the theological aspects of Hurricane Katrina, but other people have already done that, and done it better than I would've: http://blog.higherthings.org/wcwirla/article/419.html
As Americans, we expect these things to happen elsewhere. We should be as concerned for those who die in other, non-European countries, and to an extent we are. However, there's always this thought that, it's out there. It isn't here. Things like that happen in third world countries. They don't happen here. We get caught off our guard because we think that just because we're economically successful we're safe- safe from terrorism, safe from natural disasters.
I know, as an American, I am saddened when I hear of disasters in other countries. Yet, it always feels unreal. It feels as if it's not in another country-it's another world. When it hits US...the reality hits. The reality that, as much as we like to pretend that we're safe, bad stuff happens. People die. Americans die. It hit me on 9-11, and it hit me a few days ago.
I have good friends that were born in the Phillipines. Maybe that, more than anything else, makes me realize that those disasters out there aren't in another world...but I know it feels different, still, when it hits home.
It's hard to have reality crush down on you. It's hard to realize that although you feel perfectly safe, you aren't. It's hard not to want to cry and run away from it all. But, despite "bad stuff" happening all over the world, and happening so close to home, it's okay. It's not okay because I'm "strong" and America is "strong" and it's not okay because the world is "strong." It's okay in the death and ressurection of Christ, who has already saved this dying world. It's okay because of Christ. In Christ, we have nothing to fear- not even death. We are forgiven, we are saved, we are held forever in the death of Christ.
So much for not going theological. But, it's pretty hard to talk about these things and NOT become theological.
You know, when things like these happen, you also realize just how good you have it. I have a roof over my head, I have a school to go to, I have a good church to go to, I have food, I have water, I have clothing. It's easy to lose sight of that and complain-complain about not getting into the nursing program as soon as I'd like, and complain about not getting into a class that I need, and complain about being far away from some of my friends...but, really, I have it incredibly good. Some people have to worry about where they're going to get food to eat, some people aren't able to go to college...
I don't want to end a blog post by trailing off, but there isn't much more to say. So, it'll just have to trail off.

School

2005-08-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

Well...I didn't get into Medical Microbiology. What I hate is that if I had found my Anatomy professor earlier, I probably COULD have. I need to get over this...but I'm finding it hard. It's just that it's put me so far behind, not to get into it. I keep reminding myself that I was incredibly lucky to get into Anatomy my first semester, so it's about time I have a setback.
I also got the wrong book for my History of Rock class, and the receipt can't be found...
But, that's all the stuff that's gone wrong.
SI is great, the other SI people are great, and I've been able to hang out with a lot of cool people that I just met, and yet already feel really comfortable with. And, I've been able to hang out with Sam and her sister. I wasn't sure if I'd see her much, since I'm not in Micro. So, it's all good. I'm a social person and I need my peoples. ;) And, most of my classes seem pretty good. Chemistry is boring, but that's because I know this stuff already...
So, I'm taking 19 units, working about 10 hours a week on SI, I'll be starting up with the honor society in a few weeks, and I'm still volunteering at the hospital on Saturdays. Oh, and I joined the forensics team, although I have yet to get permission to add it... this semester's going to be fun, I think. Classes are all easy, SI is challenging, but kinda fun, honor society's always fun, and I love the hospital. The one thing is I don't know how I'll fit in my lab time for my two music classes.
Anyway, this is all my boring life. But, it explains why I won't be online much at all.

A whine

2005-08-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

Apologies, but I need to whine.
Late Saturday night I managed to spill an entire bowl of boiling soup on my lap. So, thanks to that, I now have second degree burns in said area. Which is INCREDIBLY annoying cause 1. It hurts 2. They rub against eachother 3. I spent an hour trying to get bandages on them and it didn't work 4. Why nooooooow? I have to go up to school Monday through Thursday today, and then school starts next week. If it had happened before, I could've just layed around the house, feeling sorry for myself ;) Which, I will admit, IS what I'm doing now.
Anyway, so no one freaks out, I'm FINE :-p. I won't die...at least, I don't think I will. ;)But, if I'm grumpy lately, out of it lately, or if you actually see me in person and I'm walking around incredibly weirdly, that would be why.
Oh, being a klutz is SUCH fun! :-p

Blogger help

2005-08-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

OK, can anyone tell me why, when I wrote the links into the HTML code, they now pull up as "www.medicuscantus.blogspot.com" and THEN the link? Because, when I looked at the code, it didn't look like there was any way to change that. I don't know HTML, though... so, can someone help me out here?

Speech

2005-08-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

20% Yankee

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Books, Computers, and Random Information

2005-08-09T23:57:00.000-07:00

Yeeeess, I'll get around to posting more about DtbL. I'm a procrastinator. Putting things off is what I'm GOOD at. Hopefully I'll get it done before Colorado Springs. And that's good enough for me. ;)
So, I was thinking. Yes, it really is a miracle that I can do that. :-p (Ha! I read your thoughts.) Anyway, I was thinking that, when I was a kid, I was a complete bookworm. I was in the kid that all the librarians knew (they still know me) and I would carry out about twenty books. Generally, I carried out a stack of books as tall as me. I read giant books as a kid and utterly amazed adults. I spent most of my time reading.
Lately, I just haven't been doing that. And I miss it. I love reading, but when I'm on vacation, all I can seem to do is think about how bored I am and watch mindless television and do computer things. Maybe it's my ADD nature. I'm utterly sure that I have ADD to at least a small extent. It would explain the doodling and the staring up at the ceiling. But, maybe it's also culture, in a way. I mean, when I have school, I don't feel much like reading fiction, mostly because I just need a brain rest. So, I watch TV. And now my attention span is such that it's all I feel like doing. Nice little fifteen minute TV segments, and then commercials! Wheras, if I read for hours, like I used to, it requires...concentration, and thought, and imagination. You know, TV really does rot your brain.
Our society IS ADD. I mean, look at TV shows. The camera shots are about five seconds long. We multi-task and go from internet page to internet page. We read snippets of news articles. We can't FOCUS on anything. This is my generation.
We also can't entertain ourselves. We can't draw, or read, or do something to engage ourselves in mental activity. We have to be entertained by some substance outside of ourselves. Radio, television, it's all the same.
So, what's the solution? I'm a pessimist. I don't believe in solutions. :-p. Seriously, though, I think we need to engage our minds more. MAKE ourselves think. Otherwise, we're just lazy people, sitting in front of a TV and allowing information to be fed into our brains. Well, what's on network news, really isn't information, anyway. It's entertainment, too. So, what should we do? Read! Think! Have intelligent discussions with people. Talk about philosophy, theology, science. Think about the mundane instead of following routines mindlessly. Otherwise, our society will become malleable to the media. In a way, it already is.
...I wasn't actually planning on saying any of that. It just kind of all came out. This is what I do at night. This is why it may be a good thing that no one's up this late to listen to me babble. :-p
And, I am now going to stop mindlessly searching the web and read a book. And think about how I can possibly get the Micro professor to let me into his class...I wonder if puppy dog eyes will work? :-p

Cat Stevens, etc.

2005-08-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

I like music that has...essence to it. So many song lyrics are incredibly pointless, and when it comes down to it, say pretty much nothing at all. Now, some of the stuff I listen do isn't exactly brilliant, but I like to think that I have somewhat good taste, and I like listening to songs that I can actually think about.
I've also been listening to softer music lately. Oh, still Bad Religion at some times (I know, awful name, and even worse logo, but some of their music is incredibly good. And I just love the lyrics. Dude, that was when punk rock was actually INTELLIGENT. Not angsty rich teenagers whining.) but a lot of Aimee Mann, The Decemberists and Cat Stevens.
I've been listening to this song a lot lately. I'm probably one of very few teenagers who would turn on Cat Steven's music and play it really loudly in their rooms, (while singing loudly along, I might add) but it's so GOOD. Anyway, this is one of my favorites of his, so here are the lyrics:

Well I think it's fine, building jumbo planes.
Or taking a ride on a cosmic train.
Switch on summer from a slot machine.
Get what you want to if you want, 'cause you can get anything.

I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?

Well you roll on roads over fresh green grass.
For your lorryloads pumping petrol gas.
And you make them long, and you make them tough.
But they just go on and on, and it seems you can't get off.

Oh, I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,
But tell me, where do the children play?

When you crack the sky, scrapers fill the air.
Will you keep on building higher
'til there's no more room up there?
Will you make us laugh, will you make us cry?
Will you tell us when to live, will you tell us when to die?

I know we've come a long way,
We're changing day to day,


----------------

Worship

2005-08-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

It IS a miracle! I've finally gotten around to posting about DtbL. I figure, it'll help get some thoughts in my head, so when I have to talk about it Sunday (No, not IN church :-p Before Bible class) I won't sound like a blithering idiot. Well, I probably still well, but hopefully less of one.
Anyway, I don't like organizing things by days, because, my mind squished all the days together. So, I'm going to...*gasp* copy Pr. Preus and do a three part blog...Worship, Work and Play. It just doesn't sound as good coming from me though :-p.
Most of y'all already know all about DtbL, since you were THERE. So, consider this more for me than you. Yes, you don't have to feel guilty if you close the window. Really. I won't send monkeys after you.
So, worship!
There were two to three services every day. It seemed like there were less than in the past years? I'm not sure if that was just me or not. At least, that was my thought when I first saw the schedule. But, it was really kind of the only way they COULD schedule it.
The services are always my favorite part of HT conferences. Usually, when I go to a service outside of my home church, or when we have a guest pastor, I get very panicky about whether the liturgy is going to be good, and the sermon is going to be theologically correct. It kind of ruins the Gospel joy. But, at the HT gatherings, I know I don't usually have to worry about that. Thus, why I love the services. The liturgy is beautiful, I learn good new hymns that I might not have known before, I get to sing hymns that I practically have memorized, and I get to hear good, Christ centered sermons- two to three times a day!!
A lot of times, when I'm home, I get so caught up in the day to day problems of life that by the time Sunday comes around, my first thought is, "Can't I sleep in?" and "Do I REALLY have to go to church?". I'm ashamed that I think like that, but I do. Most mornings I forget what great gifts I have in having a faithful church to go to, where I can hear the Word of Christ spoken, where I get the gift of Christ's body and blood every Sunday, and where I can be reminded of my Baptism. Thanks be to God that the receiving of these gifts doesn't depend on how happy I am to go to church or how great I'm feeling, or how strooong my faith feels that morning. If it did, woe to me. Thanks be to God that it all depends on CHRIST and His death on the cross, and not on my feelings.
Anyway, one thing that I love about having the services so often at Higher Things, is that it keeps me focused on Christ and His cross. It brings about the realization that Christianity is not a once a week thing. So, when I came home, went back to my normal church, once a week, I still had that realization. I'm not sure how my phrasing of things is. It's hard to say what's in my mind, without it coming off really weirdly...I guess what I'm attempting to say is that it gives me a greater realization of the gifts that Christ has given me.
It's also nice to know, that in worship, I'm not alone. Worshipping, the same way I would in my home church, with a large group of people makes me realize that although it sometimes feels it, I'm not the only confessional Lutheran teenager on earth. Was it Elijah, who went and hid in a cave, thinking that he was the only believer in Yahweh, on the earth? And then God came to him, and told him that there were more? Awful rephrasing of that, there. But, in a way, it's like that. With my brothers not being, apparently even Christian, anymore, I'm tempted to get many... "I'm the only one left" moments. It's nice to be reminded that no, I'm not.
But, of course, those are side benefits of the services. The greatest benefits are hearing God's Word, the Law and the Gospel, being reminded of my forgiveness in Christ, and, in the Confession and Absolution service, being forgiven by a Pastor, as if by God Himself. And In the Divine Service, receiving the Body and Blood of Christ for the forgiveness of my sins. Those are greater gifts than anything else on earth. And to be able to receive those, two thousand miles away from home, is the most wonderful thing about the Higher Things conferences.
I also loved the opportunity for private Confession and Absolution. I do have it at my church, but it had been a long time since I had gone, mostly due to my church being twenty miles from home, and difficulties getting up there. I also greatly appreciate that I was able to do Confession and Absolution with my own Pastor. While public Confession and Absolution is also a great gift, I do really appreciate the private Confession and Absolution. It's incredibly comforting. You know, God's gifts really do overflow. He sends His only Son to die on the cross for the sins of the world, and then as if that in itself were not enough, He gives us that same forgiveness through Baptism, and through Christ's Body and Blood and through the lips of a Pastor.
Well, this is longer than I expected. And no, I'm definitely not saying this much when I have to talk about DtbL on Sunday!!! But, this somewhat organizes thoughts, and gives me a chance to say a lot of things that I just...feel like saying, I suppose.
Next up: Work.

New and improved!...I hope :-p

2005-08-04T18:05:00.000-07:00

Having nothing else to do, I decided to completely revamp my blog.
You see, I'm kind of tired of the "This is my boring life, and me whining about it" type of posts I've had lately. And I've been reading really good blogs, and want to have a blog that at least...doesn't talk about me, but rather talks about...cool stuff ;). So, I got rid of most of my posts. The ones I left are the type of posts that I'm going to try to write now. Hopefully, slightly better, but my idea is to write about books, movies, songs, interesting ideas that pop into my head. We'll see how long this lasts...
I got a new template, too. Yes, I know it's kinda pink. But I amazingly like it :-p.
Up ahead: Posts about DtbL...we'll see how long I can procrastinate.

16 Military Wives-A song I greatly enjoy and appreciate.

2005-07-14T21:08:00.000-07:00

sixteen military wives
thirty-two softly-focused, brightly-colored eyes
staring at the natural tan
of thirty-two gently clenching,
wrinkled little hands

seventeen company men
out of which only twelve will make it back again.
sergeant sends a letter to five military wives,
his tears drip down from ten little eyes.

cheer them on to their rivals
cause america can
and america can't say no
and america does if
america says it's so
it's so
and the anchorperson on tv
goes la-di-da-di-da.

fifteen celebrity minds
leading their fifteen sordid, wretched checkered lives
will they find their solution in time?
using fifteen pristine moderate liberal minds
eighteen academy chairs, out of which only seven really even care
doling out a garland to five
celebrity minds
they're humbly taken by surprise

cheer them on to their rivals
cause america can
and america can't say no
and america does if
america says it's so
it's so
and the anchorperson on tv
goes la-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da
la-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da

fourteen cannibal kings
wondering blithely what the dinner bell will bring
fifteen celebrity minds served in a leafy bed of sixteen military wives

cheer them on to their rivals
cause america can
and america can't say no
and america does if
america says it's so
it's so
and the anchorperson on tv
goes la-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da.
la-di-da-di-da-didi-didi-da.
-The Decemberists, who happen to be my favorite band next to the Beatles. Listen to them. You shall.

Journal Entries...

2005-01-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to do journal for English 100 now, sooo, here are my past 2 entries. I kinda like 'em...they're nice and ranty ;)

1/19/05

Why do professors feel the need to tell students their life story on the first day of class? Not to be cold-hearted, but I really don't care. Last time I checked, I was going to school to learn things slightly more important than professor's lives. It isn't that their lives aren't interesting. Most of them are. But when it's the fifth teacher in a row...well, it gets a little tiring. I think, really, what bugs me most of all is just how invasive it seems. Here they are, authority figures, telling me all about them and their families. I'd feel more comfortable if it was just about their schooling. But here I am, this 16 year old girl, who met them today, and they tell me their life's story? What right do I have to know all this?

1/20/05

I've heard people talk about their hearts so oftten. "I love you with all my heart." Whenever I hear that, I just have to snicker. To me, the heart is just a pump. It has ventricles, atria, pectinate muscle, trabeculae carnea, papillary muscle, chordae tendineae, and lots of other things with long names that I had to memorize. It pumps blood. Really, it may be hard to believe, but it's not even slightly related to feelings. That would be part of your brain. So the next time I want to be sappy, I'll tell the guy, "I love you with all the sentimental parts of my brain." At least that's more anatomically correct.

Yeees, I know, they're very ranty and slightly sarcastic but that's kinda why I like 'em. ;)
(And, they HAD to be 10 sentences long... I know the first one is 11... in my actual journal I crossed out the last sentence...)

It's New Years...

2005-01-01T01:39:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year's, y'all!
I'm in a reflective mood so I figured I would blog...
A lot happened this past year. Mostly good stuff. I graduated from high school and somehow made it through my first semester at college. Not only did I (I think) get good grades, I also *gasp* was able to COMMUNICATE with people there. That's a BIG accomplishment for a sheltered homeschooler like me ;) (sarcasm? Me? never!) And I made friends that I'll be keeping in touch with out here.
I went on my first trip by myself and was halfway across the country for two weeks...and had an awesome time with the Gehlbachs, and then the rest of the MHers in South Bend. That had to have been the funnest time of my entire year- going out there and hanging out with friends. Then I went to Colorado and go to have my country for a week... and then Seattle. And that was a HT conference, what else can I say about it? I had a blast... and now my pastor's on the HT board, and thus, is going every year now ;)
And I have a boyfriend. I'd worry about the sap coming again, but I can't do much worse with that then I (and he ;)) already did in chat. Plus, I think only people who have already heard the sap from me in one way or another read this. So... I have a boyfriend, and I absolutely ecstatic about that. Not just having a boyfriend, but that it's Nat, and I'm in love. Yeah, starry eyes, all that stuff ;) But it's also...down to earth and realistic at the same time. It couldn't get much better than this...
Other things aren't going quite as well... my grandma's having some health problems, so please keep her in all of your prayers... but mostly, everyone's stayed healthy this year. And I'm thankful for that.
So what can I say? 2004 was an amazing year and I hope 2005 is like it. It was kinda one of those...growing up years, really. I feel like I've grown up a lot in one year, or maybe I'm just realizing how much I have over time. That doesn't mean I can't still have my hyper talks late at night then ;)
And if I'm listing things I'm grateful about... I'm grateful for the death of Christ Jesus for the sins of the world, and that the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel, enlightened me with his gifts, and strengthened and kept me in the one true faith throught this past year... because if it wasn't for that, the rest of this wouldn't matter a bit...
So have a good year, y'all. See you soon in St. Louis ;)

Because I'm in a poetry mood...

2004-11-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

Restless times,
Restless hearts,
Yearning for something more
Than idolized actors to worship.

Searching in the dark,
For something greater than an idol,
Something that is stronger,
Than broken humankind.

Searching in the dark,
They will be found.
Not by themselves, but by the one,
They thought they were searching for.

Searching, all alone,
They will be found in the arms
Of Him who shed His blood for them,
One dark, yet good Friday.

Searching no more,
They will rejoice in the water of salvation,
In the body and the blood
Of Him who died to save them.